Writing can be one of the gifts we give to ourselves as mothers.
April is National Poetry Month, and we asked Isis mom and writer Jacqui Morton to share how writing has been her sanctuary through the ups and downs of pregnancy and motherhood.
Writing makes me a better mother, better wife, and saner human being. When I am alone with pen and paper (or screen and keyboard) I am in some sort of sanctuary.
Last fall, after my baby turned two and after I turned thirty five, and after I thought to myself the human experience is kicking my ass, I had to return to this practice of finding my own sanctuary. I had to renew a vow made time and again. I need to write, every day. Period. And it is safe to say this has saved me (once again). Now, expecting another child, I know I am going to have to shift my schedule and renew this vow again and again. I also happen to have a day job, but I work from home with flexible hours.
Becoming a mother has been life changing in unspeakable ways. I know it is a journey and for me it’s been important to figure out how to make sure my former self is on the journey with me. It sounds a little silly. Or, it likely sounds a little selfish. For me, I think it is part of being the mother I want to be. Yes, I am feeling old. But I guess I do feel a bit wiser too. It has taken me this long to know for certain that unless I feed my soul as a writer, I won’t be able to fulfill the obligations I have to those around me.
Writing can be one of the gifts we give to ourselves as mothers. We can write the stories of our children or keep a journal for ourselves. There, we might write about what frightens us, what is painful for us and what keeps us up at night worrying. We might write together and give ourselves a gift of connection within our community. We might write as part of the healing process or to cope with loss.
Taking time to read is another gift. We have all read parenting and birthing books, books on raising boys or raising girls, books on nutrition and exercise. Some of us may have even found time for fiction. What I have come to appreciate about poetry, more and more as a mother, is well, brevity. I enjoy a poem that can be read in one sitting. Many poems deserve a second reading when time allows. Some poems are what I call “most important poems” that we return to often. You might have ten minutes for yourself in a day, or in a week. The novel I started reading last summer is in my car, not touched since August. But books of poetry are everywhere in my house and I find that they offer me respite from the daily grind and from the so many other things we are all reading.
Of course, reading with our children is important and that, too, helps me as a writer.
Motherhood is scary stuff and for a vast number of reasons (fear perhaps high among them) women have historically not written about the topics of motherhood, pregnancy, birth, and loss. There has been an exciting shift in recent literary history. Poetry, in particular has seen an influx of mothers writing furiously on these topics. I’ve recently been perusing this anthology, Not For Mothers Only: Contemporary Poems on Child Getting and Child Rearing. Edited by Catherine Wagner & Rebecca Wolff, with a foreword by Alicia Ostriker, it is capturing lots of my free moments. I love the phrase “Child Getting” in the title as it so beautifully invokes the fact that families take many shapes and routes. If you are looking for a book of poems to help feel inspired to write about motherhood, check it out.
Need more help getting started? Writing prompts are all over the internet. Here’s one. It comes from a gathering of fancy French writers and well, aren’t we a fancy group of writers? You just need a poem (your own or someone else’s) and a dictionary to get started… Write a poem using the N+7 form, conceived of by the French poets of the Oulipo movement. Choose a text, such as Elizabeth Bishop’s “One Art” and replace each noun in that text with the noun occurring seven entries below it in your dictionary. Next, try the exercise with one of your own poems. For more on the poets of the Oulipo, read “Oulipian Feats: Postcard From New York City.”
I’m doing my best to get writing and hope you might give yourself permission to make time to feed your creative soul. Write through the joyful moments. Write through the scary moments. Write when you aren’t sure what day it is because you are so tired. No. If that is the case – get some sleep!
And, thank you for giving me this opportunity to share with you what is so important to me!
Jacqui Morton
Jacqui Morton lives in Natick with her husband, Chris, and their wonderful two year old, Ben. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University, Los Angeles and has been published in Recovering the Self: A Journal of Hope and Healing. Her poems are forthcoming in The Provo Orem Word and The Mom Egg. She has also served as associate poetry editor for The Splinter Generation. Jacqui can be reached at jtfmorton@gmail.com and would love to hear from you if you are seeking a community of writing mothers or would like to attend a writing workshop.
